I wrote this back in 2008 and posted it on my MySpace (remember that?) Blog. Reading this almost 6 years later makes me think of all the trivial shit I used to go through back in my early twenties. I thought the world was going to end, I was so hurt and devastated. This makes me reflect on my growth as a person and as a woman. I’ve learned how to move on, to forgive, and to keep living. At 29, I’m fully aware of what bullshit looks like, and how to avoid it. All the “trivial shit” I thought I was going through, was simply just LIFE. Low-key, I dodged a bullet.
The writings of 23-year-old Leslie….
“There’s no substitute for the truth, either it is or it isn’t.”
India Arie couldn’t have said it any better! What baffles me is how some people just can’t comprehend that simple sentence. Do I seriously need to break it down? I think so…
No matter what lie we use, it will not take the place of actual facts! The truth is like mathematics, it’s always sure, honest, definite, direct, and on point. 1+1 will always equal 2, and 5 times 5 will never equal 10…. there’s no alternative or bullshit about it.
Same with the truth, it’s either fact or fiction… either it IS or it ISN’T.
What some have mastered is bending or withholding the truth. That’s still not honest; it’s just as bad as lying. So why do it? Is it to spare someone’s feelings from getting hurt? To try to keep a friendship/relationship that is destined to be doomed anyway? Or is it for other selfish and self consumed reasons? Friendships and relationships cannot last or survive if they’ve been based on lies and deceit.
For those of you who have lied and failed to keep it real… it’s never too late to be truthful and honest. We all need to own up to our lives, our faults, and our responsibilities. For some people, it’s easier to forgive a person who can admit they did something wrong.
The worst way of finding out the truth is hearing it through the grape vine. That cuts like a knife… deeply too…. and it leaves scars. I’ve felt it, I know.
We shouldn’t fear admitting the truth and asking for forgiveness. I think that that’s where some people are confused and misinformed. They do something wrong and instead of facing the truth they run from it because they fear that what they’ve done is unforgivable. In most cases, running from the truth just leads to more lies and deceit that makes the situation even worse.
Do you know what really happens every Easter? Every year for thousands of years, we [human beings] are forgiven for our sins. Jesus was tortured and died on the cross for us, so we can start over with a clean, sinless slate. If you’re not up on game about this then you should pick up a Bible or go to church. [I’m not joking.] If Jesus and God can forgive us for the countless sins that we commit yearly, then we shouldn’t fear the consequences of the truth from another human. Even if another can’t forgive you for your lies, at least you know that God will… you just have to own up to it and admit your wrongdoings.
Good people make bad decisions, but what defines a person as good or bad is whether or not they take responsibility for the bad decision they made.
For some, telling the truth is hard… but it shouldn’t be. Call me dumb, because I just don’t understand why it’s so challenging for some. I’m not trying to play myself as a perfect angel though. I’ve told lies, big and small ones. I’m also guilty of bending and withholding the truth in the past. But I’m older now… I’ve lived past living my life dishonestly and I’ve learned from my mistakes.
Throughout my 23 year run on Earth, I’ve encountered a handful of liars… some ha-BITCH-ual one’s too! Uggh, and I’m so over it! I’ve done a hell of a job weeding them out and exposing them, so I have no problem with getting rid of someone who keeps trying to feed me lies. You know how they say “the truth will set you free?” I think it should be, “the truth will set everyone free.” I know I’ve been lied to… I’m just waiting for the truth to come out because deep in my heart; I don’t want this, I don’t need you, I just wanna to be freed.
I rather know the brutal truth and live life scarred, than be lied to and live obliviously happy.
An excerpt from “The Life & Times of Big Lez”